OK, tonight I am typing from a voice recognition program because as I guessed I am way too sore and hurting to be typing anything.
I’m left wondering about a certain aspect of people. What makes someone think that they know better than you because they’ve been through something. Aren’t we all different? Don’t we all react differently to a similar situation? How much advice can you give somebody that you don’t really know? And on that question how much do you really know a person? Do you know their feelings? Do you know their intentions? Do you know there heart? How far is to far we’re trying to help somebody? And do they really want your help? Are you trying to help somebody, or is god leading you to do it?
Sometimes I don’t think people know who I really am. They don’t know what I’m capable of. Today up and call prideful which really hurts me because I’m not. I just refuse to do what other people say. I’ve done that my whole life and told what to believe how to believe it and why I should believe it and why I should listen to them and not anybody else. Too many times I’ve taken this road and they’ve let me down a path that almost destroyed me. Not to mention they were dead wrong. So I’ve learned to listen to people and listen to what they say but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to actually do what they say.
The people that do this to me get mad because they see their own self destruction in the past and think it will happen to me. But they do not know me. By no means am I perfect, but I do know myself better than anybody else. I am not in denial of anything nor am I a prideful of anything. This really hurts to hear my friends call me this. They are dead set on being right instead of just letting me do my own thing. If I screw up it’s my fault. These people I know love me but sometimes there ” protection” actually is hurting me more than anybody else ever could.
As I expand my face book to which is now 400 people I am learning that I was restricted to a small circle of friends for so long that it feels like they don’t want me to reach out into unknown territory out of my comfort zone and mingle amongst the society that mayor may not hurt me. But that’s life isn’t it? Even in real life people hurt people? You can’t really escape it. So why should I be limited to just a few people? I feel as if nobody understands at all.
If anyone makes me feel suicidal by hurting me it’s the people that are closest to me not people that I just met.